Robin Williams Get Down Get Back Up Again

Quotes

• Robin Williams : You attempt and do special things for your kid. I idea, "I'll accept him to Disneyland. That'll be fun." Mickey Mouse for iii-year-old, slap-up! Mickey Mouse for a 3-yr-erstwhile, that'll be fantastic!

  [matter-of-factly]

  Robin Williams : Mickey Mouse to a 3-year-old is a half-dozen-foot fucking rat!

• Robin Williams : So comes a very special time. Your commencement test equally a father. A diaper... you're fix. You lot may take been a lumberjack, you may have been a Marine, you may accept seen blood and guts... simply you've never seen caca like this. It'due south incredible stuff; role toxic waste, part Velcro. The showtime fourth dimension you pare dorsum that diaper, "Dearest I got it, now..."

  [Turns back to the diaper and freezes, stunned]

  Robin Williams : This shit is green! This is incredible! What did you feed him, algae? My God! Damn! Oh, no! He sucks on female parent's milk! What does it do, become to Cleveland earlier it gets to his asshole? What is this? And you lot're trying to wipe it off? HAHAHA! You can't. You only got a moist towelette! NO GOOD THAT IS! It's similar treatment nuclear waste with an oven mitt - no skilful!

• Robin Williams : Y'all know in England if yous commit a offense, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. So if you commit a criminal offence: "Stop! Or, or I'll say cease over again!"

• Robin Williams : Give thanks yous. HOW... DY! Whoops, wrong opera house. How yous like the play, Mr. Lincoln? Duck!

• Robin Williams : Here's a little warning sign if you take a cocaine problem: Number ane, if you lot come home to your house and at that place is no furniture and your cat'southward going, "I'm out of hither, prick," WARNING! Number two, if you accept this dream, where y'all're doing cocaine in your sleep, and yous can't fall comatose and doing cocaine in your sleep and can't fall asleep AND YOU WAKE Upward and doing cocaine - BINGO! Number 3, if on your tax forms, it says "fifty,000 dollars for snacks," MAY DAY!

• Robin Williams : Ballet: Men wearing pants then tight you tin can tell what religion they are.

• Robin Williams : Y'all don't need cocaine! At that place's another way to get real high, and really mess your listen up, it'south chosen marathon running!

• Robin Williams : [equally he drinks from a glass] A little sip of Perrier here. I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake upward nude in forepart of my car with my keys in my ass. Not a good thing.

  [every bit a bystander]

  Robin Williams : Hi, tin can I help ya?

  [as himself, boozer, turning an imaginary key in his ass]

  Robin Williams : No thanks. Information technology'south just flooded. I'll be okay.

• Robin Williams : There was one time a documentary. They asked a Peruvian Indian main, they said, "Master, what's cocaine?" He looked right in the camera and said, "Cocaine? That'southward our gift to the white man for what yous did to us. Yous take our land, we give y'all monkey for your back."

• Robin Williams : Then at that place are your friends that smoke marijuana going, "Man, alcohol's a crutch." Actually? Really, Captain Herbal Life? You just macramed your ass into the burrow and y'all're giving me shit?

• Robin Williams : These are people so stoned they can be eating kitty litter and get, "Wow, this is really crunchy, man." These are the aforementioned people who get their pets stoned just to brand themselves feel better. This is not a good idea! It's not bad enough you lot wanted to evidence that Darwin was incorrect, yous want to accept the whole family with you lot! Your canis familiaris is not that loftier up on the food chain to begin with. He barely only learned to lick his own genitals, leave him lone!

• Robin Williams : Information technology'due south in the Constitution - you have the correct to bear artillery or the right to arm Bears, whatever the hell you want to practice!

• Robin Williams : In that location's also something chosen freebasing. It'due south non gratuitous, it costs you a firm! It should be called "homebasing"!

• Robin Williams : All these beer commercials commonly evidence big men, manly men doing manly things! "You've just killed a small animal, information technology's fourth dimension for a light beer!" Why non have a realistic beer commercial? That's the realistic affair nigh beer, where y'all go, "Information technology's 5:00 in the morning. You lot've just pissed on a dumpster, it'due south Miller time!"

• Robin Williams : Some people who have, yous know, "I don't know whether to have the red wine with the fish or the chicken." What'due south it matter, asshole? They're expressionless! The chicken's non gonna reach upwardly from the plate and get, "The cherry-red vino!"

• Robin Williams : There you are, lying in bed, and you feel like the scene from the picture show "The Wing" going, "HELP ME! HEEEELP MEEEEE!" The unabridged room is spinning similar a roulette wheel: "Place your bets! Place your bets!" And there'due south the old toilet in the corner going, "Talk to me!" And you try and walk slowly, simply yous feel similar the Elephant Man in a auto wash. There's things in front of you lot like the stuff that scares the water off cars. You can't do it, and even your domestic dog'due south looking at y'all, similar, "You wouldn't believe the shit you fed to me last night. I had to back out of the room, I was that scared! Y'all promised me an evening with Lassie, you lying bastard!"

• Robin Williams : [On his wife nigh to give birth] You get her into the delivery room, which is a very subtle place. Bullshit! It's Earl Shieb's living room! Bright, bright lights! She's screaming like crazy! You're similar, "Let's breathe, dearest."

  [Does Lamaze breathing]

  Robin Williams : "Let's breathe."

  [Does it again]

  Robin Williams : Because, you have this myth that you're sharing the birth experience.

  [laughter]

  Robin Williams : Nope, I don't recollect so. Unless y'all're passing a bowling ball, I don't think and so. Unless you're circumsizing yourself with a chainsaw, I don't recall so! Unless yous're opening upward an umbrella upwardly your ass, I don't think so! Yous're non doing diddly-squat! You're along for the ride! HAHAHA! And you're there breathing and hyper-ventilating, and she'south like, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? WHY DON'T YOU KNOCK ME OUT, You lot ASSHOLE?" And usually there's an anesthesiologist over in the corner going,

  [Breathes into the mask, so mellow high phonation]

  Robin Williams : "You lot need anything, man?"

  [Imitating her doing and so and fighting with the anesthesiologist over the mask]

  Robin Williams : She sees him, and she wheels her ass over at that place, "GIMME THAT YOU DUMB STONED PRICK!"

  [He then imitates her animate into the mask and calming downwards, at present mellow]

  Robin Williams : I'll go information technology out. Oh, it's a babe, information technology hurts, owww.

• Robin Williams : Baseball players accept to become in front end of a yard jury and say, "Yeah, I did cocaine. Can you blame me? It's a tedious goddamn game! Come on, Jack! I'one thousand continuing out in left field for vii innings, and there's a long white line going down to home plate! I see the guy putting information technology out going, 'Heh-heh-heh-heh!' And that damn organ music, besides!

  [hums the "charge" intro]

  Robin Williams : Doot-doo-doo-doo, doot-doo-doo-doo! Third base coach is always doing this...

  [wiping olfactory organ, fidgeting around]

  Robin Williams : When he's doing that, I don't know whether to slide or do a line, yous know what I'm saying? People sliding into home plate head showtime, umpire goes, 'You're out!' No, infant, I'1000 up now! Ha ha ha!"

• Robin Williams : [about football] You're playing a game against a man called "The Fridge". He is not a refrigerator, he'southward a goddamn business firm with legs!

• Robin Williams : Women know the moment they get pregnant, considering there'due south like a ping, and they start to accident, and you expect to see three wise men show upwardly at your door and go, "Saw a star, dude?"

• Robin Williams : That whole matter in Africa pisses me off. Everyone's sending food to Africa. Let's send some cocktails; let's brand information technology a party, goddamn!

• Robin Williams : [taking a sip of Perrier] The starting time purpose of alcohol is to make English language your 2nd goddamn language. Eventually, yous may be quite fluent; you may be a Nobel physicist!

• Robin Williams : My God, what am I doing here? It'south weird. How exercise you get to the Met? Money! Lots and lots of money! I can imagine Pavarotti side by side door at the improv going, "Two Jews walk into a bar..."

• Robin Williams : The natural process takes a slow, slow transition, and three months later on, the wonderful affair happens: the Titty Fairy arrives! And in ane night, she goes from aught to Aida! Yah! "Thanks, Jesus! Thank you!" You make move towards her, and it's like, "No! They're for the baby!" Come on, he'southward just got one mouth, let's warm him up, come on!

• Robin Williams : This would be a identify for Stallone to practice "Hamlet": "To exist or what?"

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196055/characters/nm0000245

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